Friday, November 21, 2014

Caitlyn's Dream

Caitlyn is always in a dream-like state of mind.  Her head is always up in the clouds, and she is constantly dreaming of fairytale endings to get her through her day.  Her life is sadly ordinary.  It's not really ordinary, but this is how she views her life.

The truth is she's a housewife and a mother of one.  Her only child is eighteen years of age, and she had thought that by now, her life would have more meaning after thirty-something years of life here on earth.

Caitlyn wanted so badly to have another child.  All her life, she dreamt of having a daughter.  And why not?  She had a son, why not a daughter?  But that dream never happened for her and now with her kid all grown up, she feels it would be wasteful to have another child at this point in her life.

She was planning on running away; getting away from the ordinary life she lived once her son turned eighteen.  Her husband of fifteen years didn't want to have any kids of his own.  He once told Caitlyn that meeting her with a kid was a bonus, because his goal was to never father a child in his life ever.

Of course, this broke Caitlyn's heart.  She loved her husband more than anything, but she knew that eventually, she would have resentment towards him for not giving her a child all those years ago.  So she decided she was going to leave him once her son turned eighteen.  Sadly, that chance never happened.

For the past two years, Caitlyn's husband has been sick.  Not to mention Caitlyn herself had been taken off the medical system because she no longer had a kid under 18, nor was she pregnant, nor did she have a disability.

She was a housewife with high anxiety and depression.  Anxiety and depression are not visible disabilities, so the government doesn't see this as a legal excuse to be considered disabled.  There is no such funding for being a housewife and a caregiver.  So that left her stuck, and often entrapped in her dreams.

She believes that somewhere out there, in a parallel universe perhaps, she's living the life she's only dreamed about.  How else can you explain the constant dreaming of being with this guy and not realizing you're stuck in a continuum of a dream?

Caitlyn knows and realizes the possibility of a parallel universe, and it makes her jealous.  She is jealous of her parallel self.  Why couldn't such a beautiful life had happened for this Caitlyn in this life?

She will always sigh and cry, wondering where she went wrong in her life.  Why she can't get a job in this reality, and why she is struggling to make ends meet.

Sometimes it be that way???


Prose, Short Story, Random, Blog

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