Saturday, September 22, 2012

Remembering






REMEMBERING
Written by ©Diana Jillian 9/22/12

Lonely in my solitude listening only to Evanescence and Chris Cornell, I realized I had to get out there and live my life.

"It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself," I scolded myself.  "You need to stop giving up on yourself every time the going gets tough."

"Ugh, I know all this," I think back to myself as "Hello" is playing in my head.

"Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to."

I look down at my bracelet my beloved once gave me.  I haven't taken it off and I don't intend to ever take it off.  It is a symbol of our love.  Well, it was a symbol of our love for that love has now perished and all I am left with is this bracelet he gave me.

I remember how he gave me the bracelet.  He whispered in my ear, "Always think of me when wearing this."  I never anticipated those being his last words to me.  Not ever.  And so I have had this bracelet on my wrist after all of these years.

This is all I have left.  I touch the bracelet with my other hand and look up to notice I'm not in the desolate comfort of my own home.

This place.  I can't explain but it looks like a place I've been many times before.

A lush green field with a forest full of trees.  It all looks and smells wonderful.  I can smell the fresh scent of pine and rosemary and it makes me smile.  I can't remember the last time I smiled.  Then it dawned on me.

My beloved and I went to a forest like this when we first met.  When walking further in the forest, there was a fragrant garden full of flowers.  He picked out the black hollyhock.  I don't know how he knew they were my favorite but he always knew things about me.

He knew my favorite color was green and that's why he chose to take me to the evergreen forest. He knew my favorite flower, he even knew my favorite kind of music.

"Follow My Way," is echoing from the distance, breaking me from my reverie.  I walk closer to see what is going on.

As I walk, the music gets a bit louder.  I find myself in that very same flower garden with the melodic words playing.

"So follow my way, when I am falling from your heart, When I'm the pain, fever and sweet relief in one."

I follow the melody and there is someone who has their back towards me.  I am vaguely remembering this person and then I realize who it is.  My beloved.

I inch closer towards him remembering his sweet, spicy scent.  His hair is a coconut brown as how I remembered him from years ago.  From behind, he looks ageless.  Maybe this is a land that never dies.

With anticipation, I walk closer, hoping he will remember me.  I walk around him to face him and then I realize.

It's not him.

Just a skeleton.

"Always think of me."  I hear the whispers in the form of echoes.

I close my eyes and sob as the skeleton turns to dust and washes away in the wind.

When I open my eyes, I learn I am in my desolate room again.  It was just a dream.  I pull my headphones off, give a sigh, and go out and face the day.

After all, if there's one thing my beloved taught me.  He taught me to live each day to it's fullest.


Music references from the song Hello by Evanescence and Follow My way by Chris Cornell.




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Prose, Short Story,

Monday, September 17, 2012

I'm Not Human





Tests.

All these tests.

Failed every one.

Every single one.

But then it turns around

When I'm mad

I'm made to feel guilty

Shame on me

For being made to feel this way

After all

I cannot express my feelings

For apparently I'm a robot

I don't have feelings

Nothing


I just didn't want to be alone

Is that so much to ask?

Because of it

I have no friends to hang

I have no more children

I have no one

No sisters

No like-sisters

I am alone

The cheese that stands alone

I've accepted and I'm okay

Bi-polar reminds me

But once again...

This too shall pass.

I'll accept my fate of being


ALONE



Written by ©Diana Jillian 9/17/12

























































No Rhyme, Poem, Prose, Picture,

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