Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Alone and Okay

3/5/13...Hey Everyone!

How is everyone on this Tuesday?  It was pretty cool weather we had yesterday thanks to some rain the other day.  It actually reached 48F here in SW FL.  Sadly, it was gloomy out but not today.  The UV is pretty high so sunblock and sunglasses are still a requirement.
(Yes, this is how I feel in this weather....Mainly because I'm in the Southern-most part of Florida and all.)

Oh yes, I'm veering off the topic because I have so much to say.  I wish I could do this in a video but I haven't been feeling well enough to do any kind of photos...involving myself these days.  Therapy is going good.  I've gone from going 3x a week, to twice now, so that's a good thing.
(Image from Mommylife.net)

Okay, so I do try not to make these blogs long because someone like me comes along and gets bored easily.  I have a short-attention span and can't really stay focused on one thing for too long.  I've been this way my whole life...It's never going to change.
(Source: Rubmint.com)

Here's my story:

I started thinking how life was so simple as children.  We were able to make friends without a problem.  Then you get older and either you move or you just grow apart.  No one is raised to think and act and feel the same way.  Not even family.  Though family is probably the only extension  you'll probably get to having a friendship unless you have a significant other and kids of your own.  The friendship bond is different.
(Source:  Someecards.com)

I lost a few days here.  This story was originally written on Friday but couldn't find the time to finish this....Busy and amazing how time flies around here.  But that's only my point I'm getting at.  I was taking online classes, babysitting, and working....Not to mention taking care of my pets and my family, and I STILL had time for friends.  And let me tell you it wasn't easy trying to be a friend when I had 18 weeks worth of math classes to cram....I spent days doing homework and to do it all over again.

By the time I was done with all my assignments, writing papers and writing my own stuff, I was exhausted.  But I still MADE the time for friends.

Andy's been sick.....I need a friend.  I don't have one....Not one bit.

One claimed I was talking about her so bye to her....Another one either wanted to argue or ignore me completely with music and video games...So goodbye to that person....That left me with one friend to hang with and do things....YEAH!!!  RIGHT!!!

This friend.....Only available on the weekends when she had her kid.  WTF!  Never on the non-kid weekends.  Then tells me she's got a lot going on like her 21 year old banging up his dad's car and stuff.  Um, He's 21!!!!

Then it's like I know you're mad but I can't always contact you every day...Okay, let me stop you right there....First, who the hell said anything that I expected you to contact me every day????  I only ask that I not be ignored when I'm trying to speak.  I don't want pathetic stuff like "I'm sorry" and "you should do this and that."  I'm looking for real friendship like...Oh lets go hang and get your mind off that stuff....

Nah.  Nothing like that.  I'm beginning to think friends like that are truly fictional...They don't exist.

Just like how you have to get over your perception of the perfect partner, you have to get over your perception of the perfect friend.  It's not going to happen.  Perfect friends and perfect partners are for TV and movies and books and such....And if someone says they have a best friend:  They're either lying, related to them, or this friend lives far away so you can't get on each others' nerves as fast.

So anyway, the "friend" went on to saying that she was sorry as usual but I knew what kind of drama she was going through.  I just replied yeah because it's worse than someone with end stage renal (kidney) failure who is dying and may die before getting a transplant.

Of course it shuts her up...For good.  Haven't spoken to that person since and good riddance.  I have no time for that.  I think about all the things I dropped to be a friend.....Math homework that took me days to solve....Finishing up with writing my book....Answering texts when I'm waiting to pick Andy up from dialysis or answering them when I'm at the doctor's office with Andy.

All that has changed since then.  This last choice of ignorance was definitely a wake up call for me.  No more putting my life on hold for others....No more.

Remember your only friend is yourself and the one you're with....Maybe your kid but even with kids, you don't want to tell them everything due to awkward moments.  And you don't want to tell the one you're with everything either....Go out and buy a journal or...do what I do...Write a blog and display it for the whole world to see. :)


BTW: I was going to post more pics but seeing how this is already 5 days late, I'll skip it....Maybe next time.