Friday, December 5, 2014

I'm Not Who I Was

Once Upon A Time....I was once an annoying, and caring person.

All I wanted to do was help out those who needed help.  I wanted to fix the broken, and mend their hearts.

I wanted to be a best friend, a sister to those who mattered.

I always kept in touch with others.  I would send others text messages, emails, snail mail, phone calls, you name it.  I would find a way to keep in touch.

Then on Sunday, August 26th, 2012, all that changed.

I thought my husband was having a stroke.  I called the ambulance, only to find out his blood sugar crashed because of kidney failure.

I only had maybe two or three friends at that time that checked up on me to see how I was holding up, and how my other half was doing.  The first week was hell, but then, slowly but surely, everything was starting to get better.

Okay, I was still an idiot even after that situation.

I kept on saying that things have to change.  I kept on saying that I had to cut off ties to those that honestly didn't give a damn for me.

I still had that tiny shred of hope.

Then the unthinkable happened.

April 5th of this year, I had an appointment to have a skin tag removed off my eyelid.  The doctors removed it and sent the removed tissue to a lab.  A few days later, I was told I had Basil Cell Carcinoma.

My appointment for eye surgery was set for May 5th....A whole month later.  I was so scared.  You know because it was on my eyelid and all.  I was thinking I wouldn't have an eyelid left or something LOL.  Nobody assured me.

Even my grandma and my mother were looking for reassurance from me.

It all just made me realize....

I need to cut my ties.

I deleted people from my life.  This includes family that couldn't bother to ask me how I'm doing.  I got tired of always trying.

If you learn one thing while you're scared to death...that is you can't waste your time trying to please others.

My only regret is I wished I didn't waste all my time and energy on them the way I did.  I should have put an end to all of this several years ago.

I can be quite foolish.... 

Well, live and learn, right????

Am I alone on this???


Memoir, Random, Blog, 

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