A Year To Remember: 2014: What A Fool I Was

Hey All!!!

I've been trying and TRYING to get on here to blog, but every time the holidays arrive, craziness just happens.  I don't know how it does, but it does.

That's usually when I just zone out and chill, because I know that's the only way I'll get through depressing times like the holidays.

To tell the truth, Christmas is only fun when you're a kid.  Once you become an adult, Christmas is just depressing and :p

Oh, right!!!  Getting to the point...Er, sort of!!!

I was wanting to do an in-depth review of this past year...Where to start???

Um, January...I guess I'll start from there.

So January came and went.  I was trying to get back into the swing of things with exercising and such.  It's very hard to do so when you sprained your foot the year before.  Ankles are easy to sprain and recover from... The foot...NOT so much!

February...

I had decided to make a video diary of my exercise progressions.  hahahaha...That turned out to be a total joke.  It's all still somewhere around my computer....unpublished.  And probably will remain that way.  Eh, I'll figure it out what to post and what not to.

My phone screen busted again and I had to pay to get another screen replaced.  I re-published my book Into the Night.  You can find it on Amazon under my author name Diana Jillian.  Oh and yes, my mind is that fucked up, thank you very much.

March/April/May

This was a very crucial time for me....I should also add May in here as well...

In March, I was having a problem with putting makeup on my eyelid.  There was a skin tag on there that was suddenly bothering me.

I finally had to face facts and see an optometrist/dermatologist.   You can't go to a regular dermatologist when you have moles or skin tags in your eye area.  You must be seen by an optometrist or no deal.

Well, the biopsy came back as basil cell carcinoma.  Most of you already know this song and dance...

And this is where the fool in me comes into play.

I was an idiot...A fool.

I was there for everyone. 

I gave people rides when their car broke down.  

I watched their kids when they had no babysitter.  

I went places with them when they didn't want to fly solo.

I lend a shoulder for them to cry on.

I listened to their problems.

I was there when a loved one passed away.

I was there for it all.

And in return...

I get asked for opinions and then when they don't like my answers, I get told that I'm opinionated or cynical.

I get diagnosed with skin cancer, and suddenly people think that cancer is contagious or something.  


Wait!!!

I take that back.

Let's rewind two years ago to August 26th, 2012 when my husband was rushed to the hospital.

I started losing friends then.

They acted like kidney failure was something they could catch.

When my friends were sad and down on times, I was always checking up on them.

When I was down on times....No one bothered and the ones that genuinely care, are the ones that live nowhere near me.

What does that say about me???

I'm no good once you get to know???  In person???

I'm better off without friends to hang with.

I have other people in my life....

My other half is one of them.

In the end, I realized who my true friends and family are.

I can't be bothered with those that can't be bothered by me.

Not that I'm a bother or anything....


But this year was all about learning....It was a total rebirth.  That is a conversation I will get into next blog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL!!!!!  

~~DJ






































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There's No Snow in Florida

******Hello******

Let it...Rain????  That's about all we'll get down here in SW Florida.  Let it rain, and pray for a cold front.  Let it snow doesn't sound practical for sub-tropical weather.  But what do I know.  I don't know if I have a frozen heart or not, but I definitely know there is ice in my veins.  I'm anemic, and while it was humid outside and my body didn't feel it, my hair sure did.

We had a very humid Christmas and Christmas eve.  I also got sick on Christmas Eve day.  My son gave me his cold.  Ah, what a wonderful Christmas gift to have.

Unfortunately, my brain is mush and I can't think straight.  I've been busy not only being a caregiver to my husband, but my husband's step father.  He was 86 years old, and he started dialysis about a month ago.

Realistically, the doctors or nurses should have only prescribed him to be on dialysis once and see how things went from there.  Instead, they put an 86 year old man on there for four hours.  FOUR hours.  The other old people in there were on dialysis for less time than that.  What is wrong with people.

Ugh!!!  I really can't think about this right now.  My poor father-in-law (or so to speak), passed away on Christmas day.  I'm still trying to reel it all in.

Enclosed is a poem from William Blake that I found on Sunday when the prompts were given...How weird that this poem would be relevant in such a time like this....

O Rose thou art sick
The invisible worm,
That flies in the night
In the howling storm;

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy

~~William Blake

(Poem can be found by clicking here)

~~DJ




































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Evergreen

"

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

~~Winston Churchill



The wind will never blow my way
As I pass the evergreen shrubs
And, well.  If I'm going through hell, 
I'd might as well keep on going
 Because I know someday
Some day
 Things will turn in my favor.

Namaste~~May the light in me, shine the light within you.

~~DJ
















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Random Ramblings #4

Cooking bacon reminds me of the movie Gremlins, where they were all bubbling at the end of the movie due to water. Am I the only one that thinks like this? Eh, probably. ~~DJ























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Random Ramblings #3

I swear I have a blog in the works. Everything has just been chaotic lately. How chaotic? Let's just say I'm typing in a memo through the phone. It's funny how my brain starts working when I'm anywhere but home where I should be.

I may have lost my motivation.

~~DJ

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