Alone and Okay

3/5/13...Hey Everyone!

How is everyone on this Tuesday?  It was pretty cool weather we had yesterday thanks to some rain the other day.  It actually reached 48F here in SW FL.  Sadly, it was gloomy out but not today.  The UV is pretty high so sunblock and sunglasses are still a requirement.

(Yes, this is how I feel in this weather....Mainly because I'm in the Southern-most part of Florida and all.)

Oh yes, I'm veering off the topic because I have so much to say.  I wish I could do this in a video but I haven't been feeling well enough to do any kind of photos...involving myself these days.  Therapy is going good.  I've gone from going 3x a week, to twice now, so that's a good thing.

(Image from Mommylife.net)

Okay, so I do try not to make these blogs long because someone like me comes along and gets bored easily.  I have a short-attention span and can't really stay focused on one thing for too long.  I've been this way my whole life...It's never going to change.

(Source: Rubmint.com)

Here's my story:

I started thinking how life was so simple as children.  We were able to make friends without a problem.  Then you get older and either you move or you just grow apart.  No one is raised to think and act and feel the same way.  Not even family.  Though family is probably the only extension  you'll probably get to having a friendship unless you have a significant other and kids of your own.  The friendship bond is different.

(Source:  Someecards.com)

I lost a few days here.  This story was originally written on Friday but couldn't find the time to finish this....Busy and amazing how time flies around here.  But that's only my point I'm getting at.  I was taking online classes, babysitting, and working....Not to mention taking care of my pets and my family, and I STILL had time for friends.  And let me tell you it wasn't easy trying to be a friend when I had 18 weeks worth of math classes to cram....I spent days doing homework and to do it all over again.


By the time I was done with all my assignments, writing papers and writing my own stuff, I was exhausted.  But I still MADE the time for friends.

Andy's been sick.....I need a friend.  I don't have one....Not one bit.

One claimed I was talking about her so bye to her....Another one either wanted to argue or ignore me completely with music and video games...So goodbye to that person....That left me with one friend to hang with and do things....YEAH!!!  RIGHT!!!

This friend.....Only available on the weekends when she had her kid.  WTF!  Never on the non-kid weekends.  Then tells me she's got a lot going on like her 21 year old banging up his dad's car and stuff.  Um, He's 21!!!!

Then it's like I know you're mad but I can't always contact you every day...Okay, let me stop you right there....First, who the hell said anything that I expected you to contact me every day????  I only ask that I not be ignored when I'm trying to speak.  I don't want pathetic stuff like "I'm sorry" and "you should do this and that."  I'm looking for real friendship like...Oh lets go hang and get your mind off that stuff....

Nah.  Nothing like that.  I'm beginning to think friends like that are truly fictional...They don't exist.

Just like how you have to get over your perception of the perfect partner, you have to get over your perception of the perfect friend.  It's not going to happen.  Perfect friends and perfect partners are for TV and movies and books and such....And if someone says they have a best friend:  They're either lying, related to them, or this friend lives far away so you can't get on each others' nerves as fast.

So anyway, the "friend" went on to saying that she was sorry as usual but I knew what kind of drama she was going through.  I just replied yeah because it's worse than someone with end stage renal (kidney) failure who is dying and may die before getting a transplant.

Of course it shuts her up...For good.  Haven't spoken to that person since and good riddance.  I have no time for that.  I think about all the things I dropped to be a friend.....Math homework that took me days to solve....Finishing up with writing my book....Answering texts when I'm waiting to pick Andy up from dialysis or answering them when I'm at the doctor's office with Andy.

All that has changed since then.  This last choice of ignorance was definitely a wake up call for me.  No more putting my life on hold for others....No more.

Remember your only friend is yourself and the one you're with....Maybe your kid but even with kids, you don't want to tell them everything due to awkward moments.  And you don't want to tell the one you're with everything either....Go out and buy a journal or...do what I do...Write a blog and display it for the whole world to see. :)

~~DJ

BTW: I was going to post more pics but seeing how this is already 5 days late, I'll skip it....Maybe next time.

Lonely Me

LONELY ME

By ©Diana Jillian

It's funny. 
I always say how I need some alone time. 
However, it doesn't mean I want to be alone. 
I like being able to go out with others. 
Just at home when writing I want my "me" time. 
Who doesn't want to hang with others?  
I don't like going to places like the mall or movie theater alone. 
Now I just depressed myself.















Poem, Prose, No Rhyme, 

A Little Something: Life

Life is so easy as a child. We grow up and everything changes. Why? We let society conform us and break us down into what we think is acceptable. Being child-like is considered as being unacceptable or as having mental issues as an adult but I don't think this is true.

I think if we all looked at life through the eyes of a child, there might be less problems we have to face. We can still be the same person we once were. It's really not that hard.





































Random, Blog, Ramblings.  

DVD Silent Film Era: Cobra 1925

I have been watching quite a bit of  Valentino films lately.  And all of them, Mr. Valentino has this creep factor to me.  Yes woman might have found him suave and charming, but to me, he was indeed a creep.

I think the role a person plays is one that is similar to their own identities in some sort of way.  In every Valentino movie I've seen so far, he plays the man that cannot resist women.  They come on strong with him and in the end, he regrets it and only wants his true love to forgive him.

In another movie I've seen where he's the dominant type, wanting his women to do whatever he says, no questions asked.

In the movie Cobra, it was a bit different.  It shows that he is a count and women are instantly drawn to him  In Italy where he resides, he friends an American and they travel back to America together where they work on antique collections and price them.

From there it shows he meets a woman in her early to mid 20's who can't find a man.  I guess in those days, you were married by 18 which by our standards in today's society, would be frowned upon.

He rejects her and his friend marries her.  The Valentino character is in love with the secretary who ignores his advances.  In the end after the friend's wife dies in a fire, Valentino realizes he's no good to the secretary and lets her be with the friend.  The count leaves back home to Italy and that's all folks.

Valentino always has this way of playing these roles of a self-loathing person.  I guess this is why he was with so many women in his short 31 years of life.  He felt this way but he knew his good looks could keep any woman swooning over him...

If you are into silent films, be warned it has an ending that is completely weird.  I guess everyone is an artist.  Even back then, they wanted to show no happy endings.  Only the realities of what's the right thing to do.

(Random) (Blog) (Movie Review)

Hansel & Gretel

Earlier today I went and saw Hansel & Gretel.  Though I didn't know any of the actors, I have to say it was a good movie.  I think I may have liked it better than Warm Bodies.

If you like movies about hunting witches, you would love this movie! :)

There was a few silly and unrealistic scenes.  And I don't thing it's a movie for kids to watch.  It's a realistic spin on an old fairy tale.  Then again, Disney originally sugar-coated fairy tales.  They were meant to be lessons for children to learn, or so I believe.

Blog, Random, Movie Review