Feedback...PLEASE!!!!

 Monday, 8.30.21

Hello readers!

I really need your help! I have to turn in a paper by midnight tonight (I know! I'm such a procrastinator!). I plan on stopping the classes for the time being. The timing is all wrong right now. Well, the timing and the money is all wrong. Anyway, I would like to finish just to get a certificate that at least says I did this!!! I completed my creative writing course!

Enclosed is my story. Please keep in mind it's only 1,000 words. The average chapter is at least 2,500 words. Anyway, enough of my chit-chatting. Here's my story:

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Have you ever had a dream where you run from one adventure to the next, never finishing up the first part of your dream? That is how I would describe my life. I’m not dreaming. This is all my real life, my real world. I know you may not believe what I’m about to tell you, but it is all true. Real events are unfolding right in front of my very eyes, and I feel as if I’ve lost control of the situation.

 

The dream is real. Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole and has landed on the ground in a superhero-type formation. One foot, one knee, one hand on the ground, and the other hand in the air to catch my balance. I look around to see if anyone has even noticed a strange person falling from the sky. No one has. With a sigh of relief, I stand up and straighten my dress.

 

I look around some more. It’s just about to get dark. I look at my watch, but it’s not revealing anything for me. I cannot look at my phone. Not right now anyway. I wouldn’t want to freak anyone out. Never once have I ever been called to where I immediately arrive from one time and place to the next. I give myself a mental shake. It doesn’t matter what I’m feeling right now, someone is in danger.

 

“Say,” a lady walks up to me. She’s dressed in a black and purple fringe dress, and she’s sporting a bob with a headband that’s decorated with a feather. She looks like someone straight out of the Great Gatsby. I take another look around my surroundings. The reason why everything looks like the Great Gatsby is because I am in the nineteen-twenties.

 

“Aren’t you that dame from A Midsummer Night’s Dream?” I look down at my clothing. I am in a tattered emerald green undergarment, which can be mistaken for a dress in this era. I look like I could be a fairy.

 

I take another look at her, place my fake smile, and curtsey. The woman and her date give a laugh, and then they start clapping, telling me how wonderful my performance was. I give one last bow, and notice out of the corner of my eye what appears to be a bar. Not a bar, a speakeasy.

 

I go inside the club. It’s dark and smoky. No one has noticed my presence, I’m pretty sure of it. I quickly look for the ladies room, and enter. A few ladies have left the room. I walk over to the mirror before heading over to the stall.

 

I have been trying not to cry, but clearly enough tears managed to escape. The little makeup I wear has run down my face. I throw some water on my face before heading into a stall. I need to change my clothing without having anyone walking in on me.

 

I grab my phone from the pocket that was attached to my undergarment. My phone shows me that I’m in New York. It’s the middle of May in the year nineteen-twenty. Great! I think to myself. The one time I wanted to go to the nineteen-twenties, and it has to be on horrible circumstances. I sigh. I can’t focus on this right now. I take one last look around above the stall wall. There’s no one here. I say an incantation, and instantly transform into someone from this era.

 

I place my phone into my purse, and I head out of the room. My main goal was to head out of the door when someone grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor. Everything happened so fast. As I am staring at everyone on the floor, they’re all wearing masks. I am the only one that’s mask-less, but I am staring closely at the man that grabbed me for a dance.

 

The lights are dim, and I barely notice his dark hair. While I can’t distinguish the color of his eyes, there is something familiar about them as he’s staring at me. There is a feeling that’s nagging at me to leave, but I am mesmerized by my dance partner.

 

We dance for what feels like an eternity, and then it dawns on me. I am not supposed to be here right now. I am supposed to be out looking for the being that summoned me. They are clearly desperate for my help. The lights turn on, and I gasp by what I am seeing.

 

The gentleman I was dancing with. His height, dark hair, and Pacific Ocean blue eyes. He has often been mistaken for a young Christopher Reeve.

 

“This is not happening,” I mutter to myself.

 

I manage to fight my way out of the club, and into the fresh air.

 

“Alex,” I hear him calling to me.

 

“That’s impossible,” I whisper. Only one person—well, besides my father—has ever called me Alex. Normally, I go by Lexie.

 

I turn to face him, but instead of looking at him, I look down away from him.

 

“Carter,” I say while still looking away from him. “What are you doing here?”

 

“It seems you need a reminder.” He walks closer to me, and lifts my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I will never stop looking for you.”

 

“I thought you would have been mad at me.”

 

“For sending me back to my present?” I nod. He wipes the tears from my eyes. “I understand your reasoning.”

 

I change the subject. “I was summoned here.”

 

Carter raises his eyebrow. “Summoned?”

 

I nod. “I came straight from eighteen-oh-one. I didn’t even have time to research anything. I was instantly brought here.”

 

“That’s never happened before.”

 

“I agree, but someone clearly was desperate for my help.”

 

“Mom!” I turn to see a young man walking over to me.

 

I give a perplexing look. “Mom?”

 

“My name’s Hunter. I’m from the future, and I need your help.”

 

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Questions:

 

1.    What do you think of the actions of the main characters?

2.    Were there any parts of this chapter that seemed confusing or hard to follow?

(Please keep in mind I only had 1,000 words to work with)