Days 43-51

Day 43 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge 8/12/16

I had a bit of a rocky start. I woke up. So my day went. I got a call from the job. They want me to come in for drug testing, so that sounds good.

I meant to take more pictures, but I somehow got lazy. All you see is my coin score and this mornings' sunrise.

I am grateful for cameras built in phones. I'm grateful for successful call backs. I'm grateful things are feeling like they're turning around. I'm also grateful I'm starting to snap out of my depression a bit.

My world is usually dark, but I usually don't allow myself to get sucked into the nothingness. Though it does happen every so often. I am only human.

DJ

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Day 44 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

This should be more like a very testing challenge as today I got unfriended due to my latest blog post. I write to unleash my dark soul. I am completely different in person. I hide my accent because I don't like how others tease me on it. I'm a sensitive soul. I can't help that.

The funny thing is I've seen really nasty people comment back and I know I definitely pale in comparison. I can't dwell on it as it might drive me insane. Though sometimes I wonder if it's realized the same person you text is the very same person you chat with on the social network sites??? I over think far too much.

I had to work. It was weird working on a Saturday considering I've always had those days off. I wonder now what'll happen with my new job. I believe I'll be working every other weekend. That's cool too.

My ac busted when I got home from work. I called the repair man. I had to pay a lot because it's after hours. I'm grateful I have cool air now.

I'm grateful for life's lessons, I really am. I guess I'm grateful if someone unfriends me without reason. I guess I didn't need them in my life. So it's like they've done me a favor. I'm grateful for that too.

DJ

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Day 45 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

8/14/16

Well, I can say I'm grateful I made it to day 45 of the challenge! When I do challenges, I'm lucky if I make it the full 30 days. I guess I'm better at making a commitment than I was years ago. I better hush and not say more about that.

Speaking of hush. I think I told too many about the job thing. Andy and my MIL both think that by me saying something, not only will my current job give me a bad review, but they also think I may get fired. I'm nervous enough as is, I can't believe I have more to add. I'm a big enough over thinker as is...

I have to live in I don't care mode. Right now, I don't care is how I'm surviving right now. And I express my feelings freely only because it's easier to get it out of the way once you let them out.

I'm grateful for being surrounded by good people. I'm grateful for the internet friends I have. I'm grateful for my little dog. I'm grateful for my son and husband. I'm grateful for new opportunities.

DJ

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Day 46 of the 365 Day Gratuity Challenge.

8/15/16, Monday.

Some days I have to search for things to be grateful for. Today's search was brought to you by Pinterest.

Last week I was at my worst. It's not the first time; I'm sure it won't be the last. But I can handle it. I'm grateful I'm a strong person.

Last week, I blogged about hope turning out to be evil for me. I stay hopeful because I believe things will get better. I still have that inkling of hope to get what I truly wish for even if it has been many years of being without the very thing I've wished for.

Well that spiraled fast off target. I have hope. I believe in the universe...even when the universe stops believing in me. I am grateful to have hope.

I'm gonna get a little selfish and say I'm grateful for air conditioning. LOL.

I'm grateful for family and my husband.

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Day 47, 8/16/16, Tuesday.

I'll be grateful when I pass with good results.

I can't think if how my day went. I do know it's been a long day and I am grateful for sleep.

DJ

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Day 48 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

It's hard sometimes to live with an attitude of gratitude. The universe will test you every way imaginable. The only thing you can do is force a fake smile and lie by telling yourself you are happy until that feeling becomes real.

Problems are never permanent. They either go away or you learn to live with them.

Today is my anniversary. I am grateful I have someone who can handle me, and loves me very much...I can be quite the hot mess hahahahahaha.

I'm slowly learning to have an attitude of gratitude.

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Day 49 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I know that even when I'm sick on a day like today, I can rely on makeup to make me look like I can actually enter into the human race.

I took a selfie earlier and while my makeup is spot on, something was off. I realized I look like a doll with zero personality because I forgot to put eyeliner on.

Today I realize how grateful I am for the invention of makeup. I cannot survive being face naked.

Today's challenge is brought to you by foundation, mascara, and eyeliner.

DJ

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Day 50 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I can't believe it's been 50 days since I've started this!

I'm grateful I'm still doing the gratuity challenge. It's especially tough on depressing days. I haven't gotten rid of my blues just yet, but I will be on my way soon. I just need someone to tell me to get up...say let's go for a walk or a jog or something. I know I'll feel better once I have steady hours and shake this cold off...whatever this thing is I have.

I'm grateful for my friend, Tiki. Without her, I might not have done these challenges for so long. Thank you for being an inspiration!

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Day 51 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge!

I met Jennifer in the summer of 1986...Yes, that was 30 years ago. I was 8 and she was 7. This picture was taken on my parents' wedding day 7/4/87. I was nine and she was 8 in this picture.

I can remember how I didn't even want a picture with Jennifer as I was so jealous of how pretty and confident she was. Even back then, she was so grown up. Far more grown up than I'll ever be.

We had a lot of hardships together, I think that's what bonded us. But then as we got older, we parted ways. I moved to Florida, and she was still in Brooklyn, trying to claw her way out of there. I had no idea.

Today I caught word that Jennifer took her own life. She just turned 38 on the 4th of August. I had always thought of ourselves like the characters in the movie Beaches. She was more Barbara Hershey, and I was more Bette Midler.

I am grateful Jennifer came into my life. She taught me how to be more courageous and to not care so much as to what other people thought. She was the toughest person I knew!

I don't really know much about her adult life, other than what she had told me, because we only got back into contact with each other again 5 years ago...And by then, I was busy taking care of my family.

RIP Jennifer May Poole (Aspromonte). I will always be grateful you were a part of my life...even if it was only for a little bit.

Day 42

Day 42

Day 42 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge. 

I took my dog to get groomed. They informed me that's the last time they can groom her because my little one doesn't like for anyone to go around back. She's like don't touch my tushie! LOL

I was sick today. Like anxiety sick. I had no kids, and I went home early. I am grateful I had no kids, and I'm especially grateful I got to go home early. 

DJ

Days 40 & 41

Day 40 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

8/9/16, Tuesday

Another trying day. Going to work feeling hopeful, and then arriving and seeing all the changes made. And no one tells you anything. And all you want to do is cry.

That is no way to enjoy a job. I started packing up my things on the off chance I might get fired from there. I so pray I do so I can look for a job that will treat me with respect...this is no way to live.

I'm grateful for sleep. I'm grateful there's only 24 hours in a day, and 8 or 9 of them are spent sleeping. For me, I need 10. That's what depression does for me.

So I'm grateful for sleep, and I'm grateful for tomorrows.

DJ

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Day 41

Day 41 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge. 

8/10/16

Like I had mentioned yesterday. I'm grateful for midnight, because midnights mean it's a new day. A new day is like having a reset button on hand for such crappy days.

Today was fine...till I went to work. I'm still getting pushed aside for the newbies and those who have full time jobs.

Then I thought about quit posting in here. I have had so many posts that go ignored. Either people really hate me or the FB police is at it again. I'd like to think it's the latter.

I would still have my messenger on, but as far as I can tell, it's probably time to start thinking about moving on. Change can be scary, especially if it's not beneficial. Change is a risk.

I'm hoping that change will be good for me. I'm grateful to be hopeful, even if it means looking pathetic.

DJ

Days 32-39

This way...I can be done.  You'll only see one more post from me either tonight or tomorrow.  It depends on how tired I am.

Day 32

I am realizing so much about myself!

Today I was in good spirits despite the disappointments thrown my way. It only proves I'm stronger than I realize. I'm grateful for that.

For whatever reason the Universe likes to play games with me, I'm both glad and grateful I can handle it.

An Audioslave song...called Out of Exile, there's a line that goes: And the blessings on the table multiply and divide.

It's a pretty interesting quote.

DJ

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Day 33 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I actually remembered to post a blog in Wordpress. I've been posting in Blogger because it doesn't get as much traffic as far as visitors. I've been a bit more private in the writing field lately...well, except for these challenges, though I don't know why, because even the challenges I post go unseen. It's cool though! Some things I write have an acquired taste. Mine might leave a bad taste in others' mouths.

https://dianajillian.com/2016/08/03/life/

I wanted to create a portrait to go with the link I provided for my blog. It's amazing how messing around with shades of black and white can ultimately create an effect you finally like. It almost looks like sun and clouds. I'll let you interpret it any way you like.

I'm grateful I can mess around in Photoshop. It keeps me busy and occupied...and not always thinking about things like will I have a job tomorrow or not.

I had some bad news, and then it turned around. It was for a job interview. I got an email stating they weren't interested in someone like me. I replied back with a thanks. And then I got a voicemail later on while at work saying they'd like for me to come in for an interview. I'll call in the morning. I'm grateful for surprise moments like that!

While I have you here. I changed my blog page from Diana J Poetry to Non-Drinking Musings From a Writer. I'm always told that writers usually have drinking problems. I don't believe that's entirely true in this day and age...Poe, Plath...Then again, what do I know? LOL...Either way, I changed my page URL from DianaJPoetry.blogspot.com toDianaJMusings.blogspot.com I figured it was more appropriate.

http://dianajmusings.blogspot.com/2016/07/249.html

DJ

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Day 34 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge, Wednesday 8/3/16.

Yesterday was interesting. First, I've learned you can make phone calls through Facebook Messenger and it costs you nada. That's a good thing!

Second, I have an interview on Monday with a place that's offering full-time with benefits! That's always a good thing too!

Yesterday at work, I had noticed the 11:11 sign. I didn't ignore it, I just didn't think to screenshot it. When I saw the 12:12, I decided to screenshot that one.

And while scrolling through Tumblr (Because Tumblr is like having cookies in a cookie jar; you can't keep your hands out of it.), I found some quotes that I wrote down.

I've come to realize that while I was left in charge with another person, he had taken it upon himself to leave me out of the equation completely, and take charge of everything. I've come to realize (Yes, for real this time) that if he wants to maintain that part-time position and be boss, let him! I don't need that stress or frustration.

Funny how I was the one that trained him, and funny how I have been there a whole lot longer...but none of that matters.

I can't control what's out of my control. I must let it go. And for that, I am grateful.

DJ

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As I finished day 35 of the challenge, I am starting to find it very challenging to find what I'm grateful for. But I am going to do it because I am a very determined being. So let me start off by saying I'm grateful for being determined.

I decided a while back to request time off so I can spend it with my grandma. I'm a little annoyed I didn't get here sooner, but that's alright. I'm grateful I have transportation to come and visit my grandma when I can.

I think that's all I have without me sounding like I'm complaining. So let me add I'm grateful I'm able to hold my tongue and keep a secret to my list.

DJ

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Day 36 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I have been away and so right now, I can only pray my posts are making it on here. I'll be back to internet civilization in a little over 12 hours from now. I'm truly, truly grateful for the internet.

Earlier today, I went to the mall and stopped in Victoria's Secret. They had the body sprays I like two for ten dollars! Hey, I love bragging about bargains! One time I bought jeans and a rain jacket for 40 cents at Old Navy. I'm grateful for bargains.

I'm lasting longer than I thought with this challenge. I'm grateful for that!

DJ

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Day 37...

I'm back home. I'm grateful for that because it was hard to comment or check out anything while running on 3g.

I say I got plenty of exercise while I was gone because there are 32 steps between my grandma's house to the ground. I'd say I went up and down it a few times. I just wish I could enjoy the rest of the weekend off, but I can't as I have to work tomorrow. I'm grateful I still have a job.

DJ

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Day 38...

Sun, August 7th, 2016

Today was definitely a trying day as I had gotten home the night before, and work was the absolute last thing on my mind.

I had actually been contemplating what I will tell these people in my upcoming interview in twelve hours from now.

I was willing to work a job--that never cared about me--at night, and continue working the weekends. And then I found several issues from the day before, with a part time boss who is making excuses for people that wouldn't go to bat for him. And I was just like, if you don't care, neither do I. It was that very moment I realized if I actually do get this job, I am so putting in my two week's notice.

I'm grateful for eye-opening moments.

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Day 39

Well, I went for my interview today. I should find out if I have the job or not by Wednesday.

As far as the other job, I have no words other than to say they confuse me, so much!

Other than the rain soaking me completely, I'd say the interview on my behalf went well. I'm grateful for that. I'm still job hunting though.

I'm grateful I don't have to be at work until later tomorrow evening! That should give me some time to get other things done! *fingers crossed*

DJ

 

 

 

Days 28-31

I've noticed that despite the fact I'm dating these from a month ago, this still might be popping up in your feeds.  Sorry about that.  These will be my gratitude challenges from days 28-31...I'll be at day 40 today.  I'm trying to catch up!

DJ

Day 28, 7/29/16

Today was a trying day, but I'm grateful I got to work a short shift today. I need to calm down more, and I think it's working just fine! :)

I started watching Stranger Things on Netflix. It's an intense show.

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Day 29 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

This moth or butterfly was just flapping its wings. He or she was practically asking me to take their picture. And so I did.

In times of trouble and sadness, I must remind myself of good things. I'm grateful I still have a job? LOL. I made a necklace a while ago with all these crystals. I believe in its healing powers (no laughing please). I believe somehow, in some way, it's protecting me. I'm grateful for believing in what I believe in. I'm grateful in believing in the universe, and knowing no matter what, there is a bigger plan for me...

Yeah, that's all I have today.

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Day 30 of the 365 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

I was gonna go out shopping today when this little guy caused me to make a full stop so I wouldn't run him over. He ran up to me and practically jumped into my car!

I have looked everywhere throughout the neighborhood, looking for his owners. Everyone I talked to said they didn't lose any dogs.

I don't know if I'm grateful for having such a soft spot for abandoned pets, but I think he's grateful I took him in temporarily.

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Day 31

"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them."

~~Bruce Lee

There are mistakes in life. I like to think of them as lessons to be learned. A person was brought in nearly ten years ago to turn a non-profit organization around. That said person was finally let go around February or so. I don't know how much faster you can turn things around unless you have a charity event. That would have been the smart thing to do. Like have kids create art, and then auction them off. I'm sure you'll stumble upon the next Picasso one of these days.

But stuff like that wasn't done, and you're still in the hole. A very deep hole...deeper than six feet. And so a merging offer comes along. A merging offer from a non-profit place that has been and still is making money for the past 50 years. They keep building and growing. They have a dream, and I'm all for the change we so desperately need.

Yes I am sad to see staff members go, but that is and has always been the way of a merger. It's really to weed out the weak, and keep in the strong....the ones that keep the place alive (as much as possible) and kicking.

I am grateful either way. If I keep my job, I am grateful I have a job. If I get fired, I am grateful I can apply for unemployment until I find another job. I would like to focus on my Etsy. I have bracelets made that I would LOVE to sell! I can't really do that if I'm not home enough to devote my time to crafting and creating.

In other news, I found the owner of that little pup. He was a very sweet boy, but we are not ready to build an addition to the family like that. I'd rather have a human baby than another fur baby at this point in time. I'm grateful I was given the opportunity to see that having another fur baby would not be ideal for me...or my pups right now.