Random

--Diana

If I was able to come up with topics, perhaps I would make a great leader.  I'd be one filled with wonderful ideas and topics...And pictures too!

Instead, I get songs stuck in my head.  Because I'm all about the poetry or the words that have formed into a song.  Sometimes the music sets me off, but the lyrics are what's powerful to me.

So today, I have the song Unwritten in my head.


And now I have the song Window in my head.


How does this  happen?  Just one line or word in a song can transform me into another song.  I even do this when I'm reading a book.  One word or sentence sets me off into another dimension.  I have entered into the realm of my innermost thoughts.

Inside my mind, some find it fascinating, while others find it dark and scary.

But to quote Walt Whitman:  "Every moment of light and dark is a miracle."

In my darkness, I do find light all the time.

Most view the dark as being alone, scared, and unprotected.  But when you really look at it, there is nothing to truly fear.

But I don't know.  I was always afraid of the light, but not so much anymore.

"You fake something until you're good at it."

~~Weird All Yankovic

When I first tried to encounter the positive side of thinking, I was like, "Yeah, right!  This stuff doesn't work."  But with more practice, I started getting better at it.  Now in both frames of my mind, the light and the dark are equally welcoming.

Yes, the library is my friend...and quite possibly my ally.  That's how I've become a more positive thinker.  I am always roaming around in the self-help section.  I have learned to become a more positive thinker, and just recently, I've learned how to meditate.

The library is surely a wonderful thing.

I was searching through so many pictures, I've lost my train of thought.  Mostly because I had to create my own pics.  Some were too small, and some didn't seem right.  Can you guess which pics I created???

Have you ever listened to Pearl Jam?  I mean the early stuff???


"Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away."

~~DJ

My Own Hell

My reality
Is confining me in cell
To face my own hell

©Diana Jillian 2/14/15










































(Haiku) (Picture)

Blank Page

My life’s a blank page
That’s full of nothing, but still
I try to be me

©Diana Jillian 2/13/15




 




















































(Haiku)

Getting Back Into The Working World

Hey Everyone!!!

Well, I got myself a job working at the YMCA in the child watch program.  I don't even know how this happened considering I was wanting a job in the front desk--AWAY from children.

I made this conscious decision a few years ago that if I couldn't have anymore children of my own, why should I have to be around other people's children?

This really has nothing to do with my story, but I love this pic! :)

I was a preschool teacher and I loved my job.  But I didn't love the parents.  They were horrible and would neglect their kids constantly.  They would go to the beach while their kids were still in daycare.  Oh, it would make me so mad, and they wonder why their kids had behavioral issues?

When my son was younger--I'm talking pre-dating the Kindergarten era--I would take him to the parks and the beach.  Anywhere and everywhere you could imagine.  I even took him with me to friends' houses because that was the kind of mom I was.  Once school starts, that's a whole different story because they could have only so many absences. 

But on Fridays, I would have to take him to the doctors, and so we would have an early day like going to the movies, or the beach, or something like that.

Those days are gone and my son is 18.  He's an only child (I'm not including the other siblings he has that my sperm donor procreated), and I wanted so much more for him.  I wanted him to have a sibling--someone he could have healthy competition with, and someone he could have as a friend forever.  I know my brother and I are really great friends now that we're adults.  I just wanted my son to have that same experience.

I wasn't asking for much, but I was with a man who was teased and tormented about the poor hand-me-downs he had, poor haircuts he had, and his weight, and glasses.  I don't think those are bad qualities (OK, so maybe the hand-me-downs are a bit much), but kids can change and make their appearances the way they see fit.  Then again, I wouldn't know.  I don't have any other children to know if this is true or not.  I can only go by me.

I was grown up, pretty much, by the time I was four years old.  I knew how to read and write.  I knew how to tie my shoe.  I even knew how to make a scrambled egg at that age.  I knew a lot more than what most four year-olds would know.  

But that's just me.  I was not a normal child.  Perhaps I was still connected to a part of my past life back then?

The point is, the only thing I'm looking forward to is getting the insurance I need so I won't be penalized.  I would say for the money, but we all know that by the time you're done paying taxes and insurance, you'll be lucky if you have enough money for dinner for the week...or for the night.

Yes folks!  This is what a college degree gets you.  Just stick with trade like nursing or mechanics.  You'll be better off.

~~DJ

Time Out

Another blog from another time...

Hey Everyone!!!

Let me just state something before going any further...


Well, I got myself a job working at the YMCA in the child watch program.  I don't even know how this happened considering I was wanting a job in the front desk--AWAY from children.

I made this conscious decision a few years ago that if I couldn't have anymore children of my own, why should I have to be around other people's children?

This really has nothing to do with my story, but I love this pic! :)

I was a preschool teacher and I loved my job.  But I didn't love the parents.  They were horrible and would neglect their kids constantly.  They would go to the beach while their kids were still in daycare.  Oh, it would make me so mad, and they wonder why their kids had behavioral issues?

When my son was younger--I'm talking pre-dating the Kindergarten era--I would take him to the parks and the beach.  Anywhere and everywhere you could imagine.  I even took him with me to friends' houses because that was the kind of mom I was.  Once school starts, that's a whole different story because they could have only so many absences. 

But on Fridays, I would have to take him to the doctors, and so we would have an early day like going to the movies, or the beach, or something like that.

Those days are gone and my son is 18.  He's an only child (I'm not including the other siblings he has that my sperm donor procreated), and I wanted so much more for him.  I wanted him to have a sibling--someone he could have healthy competition with, and someone he could have as a friend forever.  I know my brother and I are really great friends now that we're adults.  I just wanted my son to have that same experience.

I wasn't asking for much, but I was with a man who was teased and tormented about the poor hand-me-downs he had, poor haircuts he had, and his weight, and glasses.  I don't think those are bad qualities (OK, so maybe the hand-me-downs are a bit much), but kids can change and make their appearances the way they see fit.  Then again, I wouldn't know.  I don't have any other children to know if this is true or not.  I can only go by me.

I was grown up, pretty much, by the time I was four years old.  I knew how to read and write.  I knew how to tie my shoe.  I even knew how to make a scrambled egg at that age.  I knew a lot more than what most four year-olds would know.  

But that's just me.  I was not a normal child.  Perhaps I was still connected to a part of my past life back then?

The point is, the only thing I'm looking forward to is getting the insurance I need so I won't be penalized.  I would say for the money, but we all know that by the time you're done paying taxes and insurance, you'll be lucky if you have enough money for dinner for the week...or for the night.

Yes folks!  This is what a college degree gets you.  Just stick with trade like nursing or mechanics.  You'll be better off.



Oh I know I lived this life before


That was always such a catchy line...

So, I decided that I should really go on a quadragesimal of my own.  I'm Jewish, so the Lent rule does not apply to me.

It doesn't mean I haven't tried it.  It's something you can go without from Ash Wednesday, until Easter Sunday.  Is that right?  I'm asking because this Jew girl doesn't know.

I just need a time out for now.

~~Diana