Days 43-51

Day 43 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge 8/12/16

I had a bit of a rocky start. I woke up. So my day went. I got a call from the job. They want me to come in for drug testing, so that sounds good.

I meant to take more pictures, but I somehow got lazy. All you see is my coin score and this mornings' sunrise.

I am grateful for cameras built in phones. I'm grateful for successful call backs. I'm grateful things are feeling like they're turning around. I'm also grateful I'm starting to snap out of my depression a bit.

My world is usually dark, but I usually don't allow myself to get sucked into the nothingness. Though it does happen every so often. I am only human.

DJ

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Day 44 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

This should be more like a very testing challenge as today I got unfriended due to my latest blog post. I write to unleash my dark soul. I am completely different in person. I hide my accent because I don't like how others tease me on it. I'm a sensitive soul. I can't help that.

The funny thing is I've seen really nasty people comment back and I know I definitely pale in comparison. I can't dwell on it as it might drive me insane. Though sometimes I wonder if it's realized the same person you text is the very same person you chat with on the social network sites??? I over think far too much.

I had to work. It was weird working on a Saturday considering I've always had those days off. I wonder now what'll happen with my new job. I believe I'll be working every other weekend. That's cool too.

My ac busted when I got home from work. I called the repair man. I had to pay a lot because it's after hours. I'm grateful I have cool air now.

I'm grateful for life's lessons, I really am. I guess I'm grateful if someone unfriends me without reason. I guess I didn't need them in my life. So it's like they've done me a favor. I'm grateful for that too.

DJ

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Day 45 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

8/14/16

Well, I can say I'm grateful I made it to day 45 of the challenge! When I do challenges, I'm lucky if I make it the full 30 days. I guess I'm better at making a commitment than I was years ago. I better hush and not say more about that.

Speaking of hush. I think I told too many about the job thing. Andy and my MIL both think that by me saying something, not only will my current job give me a bad review, but they also think I may get fired. I'm nervous enough as is, I can't believe I have more to add. I'm a big enough over thinker as is...

I have to live in I don't care mode. Right now, I don't care is how I'm surviving right now. And I express my feelings freely only because it's easier to get it out of the way once you let them out.

I'm grateful for being surrounded by good people. I'm grateful for the internet friends I have. I'm grateful for my little dog. I'm grateful for my son and husband. I'm grateful for new opportunities.

DJ

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Day 46 of the 365 Day Gratuity Challenge.

8/15/16, Monday.

Some days I have to search for things to be grateful for. Today's search was brought to you by Pinterest.

Last week I was at my worst. It's not the first time; I'm sure it won't be the last. But I can handle it. I'm grateful I'm a strong person.

Last week, I blogged about hope turning out to be evil for me. I stay hopeful because I believe things will get better. I still have that inkling of hope to get what I truly wish for even if it has been many years of being without the very thing I've wished for.

Well that spiraled fast off target. I have hope. I believe in the universe...even when the universe stops believing in me. I am grateful to have hope.

I'm gonna get a little selfish and say I'm grateful for air conditioning. LOL.

I'm grateful for family and my husband.

**

Day 47, 8/16/16, Tuesday.

I'll be grateful when I pass with good results.

I can't think if how my day went. I do know it's been a long day and I am grateful for sleep.

DJ

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Day 48 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

It's hard sometimes to live with an attitude of gratitude. The universe will test you every way imaginable. The only thing you can do is force a fake smile and lie by telling yourself you are happy until that feeling becomes real.

Problems are never permanent. They either go away or you learn to live with them.

Today is my anniversary. I am grateful I have someone who can handle me, and loves me very much...I can be quite the hot mess hahahahahaha.

I'm slowly learning to have an attitude of gratitude.

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Day 49 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I know that even when I'm sick on a day like today, I can rely on makeup to make me look like I can actually enter into the human race.

I took a selfie earlier and while my makeup is spot on, something was off. I realized I look like a doll with zero personality because I forgot to put eyeliner on.

Today I realize how grateful I am for the invention of makeup. I cannot survive being face naked.

Today's challenge is brought to you by foundation, mascara, and eyeliner.

DJ

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Day 50 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I can't believe it's been 50 days since I've started this!

I'm grateful I'm still doing the gratuity challenge. It's especially tough on depressing days. I haven't gotten rid of my blues just yet, but I will be on my way soon. I just need someone to tell me to get up...say let's go for a walk or a jog or something. I know I'll feel better once I have steady hours and shake this cold off...whatever this thing is I have.

I'm grateful for my friend, Tiki. Without her, I might not have done these challenges for so long. Thank you for being an inspiration!

**

Day 51 of the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge!

I met Jennifer in the summer of 1986...Yes, that was 30 years ago. I was 8 and she was 7. This picture was taken on my parents' wedding day 7/4/87. I was nine and she was 8 in this picture.

I can remember how I didn't even want a picture with Jennifer as I was so jealous of how pretty and confident she was. Even back then, she was so grown up. Far more grown up than I'll ever be.

We had a lot of hardships together, I think that's what bonded us. But then as we got older, we parted ways. I moved to Florida, and she was still in Brooklyn, trying to claw her way out of there. I had no idea.

Today I caught word that Jennifer took her own life. She just turned 38 on the 4th of August. I had always thought of ourselves like the characters in the movie Beaches. She was more Barbara Hershey, and I was more Bette Midler.

I am grateful Jennifer came into my life. She taught me how to be more courageous and to not care so much as to what other people thought. She was the toughest person I knew!

I don't really know much about her adult life, other than what she had told me, because we only got back into contact with each other again 5 years ago...And by then, I was busy taking care of my family.

RIP Jennifer May Poole (Aspromonte). I will always be grateful you were a part of my life...even if it was only for a little bit.