Friday, July 27, 2012

No More

Hey Everyone!

So it's been a while since I've actually blogged.  Normally I post a poem with a picture and then I'm done.  All is good...But I'm under the impression that some think I hold grudges...Well I don't.  I swear sometimes my profession should have been in psychiatry.  I find the human mind fascinating and interesting as to why some people do what they need to do and why they need to do it.

Lately, I've been caught up in competition and accusations.  I've found myself walking on eggshells but at the same time, these were the same people that had no problems with giving me full blows to the head.

Not everything I write will be about someone.  Sometimes I actually make references and if I do write about someone, it's to get an opinion on the situation.  I'm a discreet person.  I leave names out.  If  you come and send me an email or comment on my status or blog defending yourself, just know that I was not the one that gave your identity away...YOU DID.  Capice?

Also another thing you should know about me...I DON'T STAY MAD FOR LONG.  Just because my OCD kicks in and I repeat myself over and over does NOT mean that I am mad about a situation.  No.  In fact, I find it fascinating.  I really should have studied psychology.

Just because I can read people after a while like an open book, does not mean that I understand their actions.  I find this intriguing.  I repeat myself because I am intrigued by the actions others possess within themselves.  I've watched as others can't let go of grudges.  I've watched as others can't let go of the past.  I've watched as others think their way is the only way and won't listen to anyone else no matter what.  I've watched as some thought of themselves as a victim when in fact it was them that put themselves in that position and no one else.

As a child, you have no control...perhaps no say over actions and decisions being made.  As an adult, you do.  You have choices.  You can choose to smile and walk away or you can choose to be angry and argue.  The choice is yours.

As a child, I watched the people in the rooms speak of how they became fixated upon drugs.  Either their parents beat them or a relative done something unspeakable to them.  They lost a loved one or something else that they just couldn't handle....

Instead of facing their problems the hard way, they took the easy way out...Drugs.  Each person in that room took no blame for their own actions.  They blamed something or someone else.  Ultimately, it is your choice. You're in control.

But this isn't a lecture that I'm trying to make.

I'm just saying that we make a conscious effort to do what we can.  As Deepak Chopra says:  "Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle."

I don't know about you but I choose the miracle.  I choose good.

So, that means to not let others treat me like crap just because they're angry about something.

We have a right to our opinions.  The last I checked, I was still an all American gal and I had a right to express my feelings thoughts and ideas without someone pointing a finger at me for doing something they're already doing.  That's called hypocrisy.  That's called a double standard.  That is unfair.

How dare you have the right to voice your opinion but not me.  What am I?  Do you think I'm a robot?  What?  I'm not a human being with feelings???  I'm not allowed to express how I feel?  That's not right.  You may need to check yourself and slow your role.

I am me.  I have feelings and opinions.  I choose the opinions of neutral territory. I didn't realize that made me a monster.  Sorry--No!  I'm not sorry and shame on you for making me feel like I have to be sorry.


That is all I have to say about this.

Try to remember you can always agree to disagree without being insulting and hurting others feelings.  What you say now, you may regret down the line when you wind up alone and with no one to turn to.


BTW:  This message is not directed towards ANYONE at all.  This is just me stating my feelings.  If you think this is about you then get over it....

And if you think it's about you and you're ready to argue, just remember, I find it invalid...
















































Random, Blog, Picture, Argument Invalid,

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Live

Bare with me as I do not understand this format...It drives me nuts...
Here is a picture I made to go with the poem I wrote...

And here's the poem:
Live like it's the end 
And enjoy the last 
Make a point to mourn 
Even if they haven't passed
Cherish every breath you breathe 
Every being healed with ease
For poor fragile heart 
Easily becomes torn apart
We all have our mission 
What waits around the bend 
It's a complete beyond mystery 
A thrilling ride to the end

7/18/12 Written by ©Diana Jillian

Earlier this morning I was asked a question. I was asked if what I think of all of this?
All of this meaning the situation with Andy....
I'm sitting and riding a stationary bike when I told him I honestly don't know. I used to watch my mom ache with every pain or something or another...
As most of you might already know...I basically raised myself and then while I was trying to raise myself, I had a little brother to take care of...Sorry bro.
Anyway, the poem even though written last night, does coincide with today's dilemma. I'm a little frustrated because the sugar's under control but his blood pressure is now a new issue. I don't understand it.
He barely eats these days and he's been walking more.
So this morning I answered him honestly. From what I witnessed growing up, I've decided that any pain I might feel, any kind of sharp pain that endures, I walk it off. I know I'll be better. And if if persists for longer than a day, then I will go and see the doctor. With me, it doesn't last long.
If there is a sharp pain inside my body near the lungs area...I breathe it out. I can't explain it any more than that. The pain eventually subsides and I am good. Most pain that I feel is usually anxiety and yes I get them even when I am not on anything with caffeine....I could go months without it and still get anxiety.
But I learn to control it. While I believe most things can be controlled with your mind, for those you can't control with your mind, there's medication for it.
I believe it takes a lot of wiring and re-training your brain to get you to think and feel on a positive and healthy level.
Okay, losing focus now...Gotta run
BYE
Written by ©Diana Jillian  7/19/12

















































Poem, No Rhyme, Picture, Creation, Artwork, Random, Blog,

Thursday, July 5, 2012

I Thought...



I THOUGHT
Written by ©Diana Jillian 7/5/12


I thought I could
Possibly
Would
But know now
I can't
I won't
Be leaving behind
Anything
To no one
For there's no legacy
To leave behind
And I sit
And wallow
In misery
Of regret
Wishing things
Could be different
But I'm smarter than that
And I know better
The fool am I
To be such a wishful thinker
The fool am I
To have stayed so long
No legacy
When I go
I shall forever
Be forgotten

7/5/12 DJS






































Poem, Prose, Picture, 

Everything






































Random, Blog, Picture, Writing, Words, QOTD,

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Happy 4th










































Picture, Holiday, Blog, Artwork,

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